I am an asshole...

....when I don't get enough sleep. As I write this, I haven't sleep for more than 34 hours. I am cranky, childish beyond reason, and a total asshole. Yes, I admit, I am a total asshole. Yesterday, while I was at the hospital, I was so short of throwing a tantrum, and even being all sarcastic, and even calling my friend's question stupid. Usually, I would be more tact and just answer it, no matter how stupid I thought the question was. It was her first time to get her blood taken for a blood test, and here I am saying her questions are stupid. I am stupid for saying it.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Putrajaya Hospital to continue my treatment for my Bipolar. And yes, I am Bipolar and lately it's going for the worse. My mood still fluctuates between crying my heart out and laughing my ass up. It's affecting my sleep too, thus the lack of sleep, thus the crankiness. Anyway, I went to the hospital to seek help, and without seeing a doctor, I have an appointment next year. Wow. If I was in the condition when I was in UiTM, I would have just offed myself. Yeah, isn't it going to be ironic that your mental patient could make to her first appointment because while you asses sit there chit chatting and what not, your patient couldn't see anyone about her problem, and she suicides. How's that? Oh, and don't pretend that you doctors and nurses are totally innocent. I see you people gather at the nurses counter gossiping about people you hardly know about. Don't even get me started about the Doctor-Patient Confidentiality, because to put it bluntly, there's none.

Do you know why people see psychiatrist? They know there is something wrong with them. And here they are, seeking help from you people. They share with you everything, and here you are, judging these people that needs your help, gossiping about these patients at the nurses' counter. Usually, it would bother me because Malaysian are Kepochi by nature, but yesterday, it just pisses me off. I really want to throw my heavy sling bag to their faces. But if I really did that, it's either I be getting my time in the ward or the jail.

And then while we had to wait for what seems an eternity at the pharmacist for them to process the medications (my friend's not mine), I saw this ad they put on tv. It goes "Don't take fevers lightly, check for dengue fever". I find this ad very VERY funny. You see, somewhere in the middle of this year, I had a very high fever, that goes on for about 4 days. Seeing the fever did not subsides, I went to Putrajaya Hospital for treatment. I went there, with my high fever, wanting to see a doctor to see what is wrong with me. I thought with a 39 degrees Celcius fever that has been going on for 4 days was already an urgent case for me to be able to go through the Emergency and Trauma unit, seeing the hospital had no outpatient treatment center. 

But apparently, it wasn't the case. They denied me to see a doctor and told me to go to the Putrajaya Health Clinic instead saying it's just probably a normal fever. It's funny how I ended up getting warded at Subang Jaya Medical Centre, a hospital that is in a whole different district, for, wait for it, DENGUE FEVER, the next day. Wow. I am speechless towards these people. Here you are, promoting for people not to take fever lightly, but when they do come to you, you redirect them to another medical place? Usually I wouldn't be so prissy about it, but since I lack sleep, I'm going to bitch about it.

Anyway, I am going to try to sleep now, which I doubt I will. The last time I tried to sleep, I suddenly had the urge to finish up my photoshop assignment which I end up make the model's picture damn scary, and redirect me to write a blogpost. If I am still unable to sleep, I will seriously consider to ask someone to give me a concussion. And no, I'm not kidding. It's either that or I will forcefully make myself sleep permanently. 

++saykoji89++

++I feel like killing the next person with stupid updates/statuses++