I Think...

I think there might be something wrong with me... And I don't mean mentally. I already know there is something wrong with me mentally ever since I was small.. I think there is something wrong with me physically.

First of all, the twitching. Usually, a twitch here and there is normal. But sometimes, I get twitches that last more than 5 minutes on a daily basis. It's really annoying. Especially, when you are trying to sleep. I am a type of person that can barely sleep now days. For me to really get a good night rest, had to take sleeping pills.  But I don't really rely on that at the moment. I don't want to become too dependent on medication. So, when I try to sleep without the pills, I couldn't afford any distraction (like the annoying twitching) or I could my precious sleep.

Secondly, at times, my hand will be shivering like mad. Usually, when my friends noticed it, I will laugh it off and say "I lack glucose/sodium" but actually I am a bit worried. It's not the normal shiver like the one you get when you're cold. It's the one like a Parkinson people have. Sometimes that scares me...

Then, I have noticed that my hand-eye coordination is getting way off. I have been noticing this for a long time now. That is why lately I have been playing rhythm games such as Taiko, Project Diva, and Beats!. I am just testing my hand eye coordination. It's getting bad as the day goes. Sometimes, even when I type, I'll press a button next to it instead. It has happened too often that it is just too hard to ignore anymore. And usually, to open the lock to my room door or plug in my charger to my phone, I could do it in one try. But lately, that is not what's happening. Sometimes I feel like a drunk person trying to open the door or plugging in the charger to his phone. It's kinda frustrating.

Sometimes I think I am just over thinking these stuff, but sometimes I wonder, what is there is something wrong, and when I found out, it's too late to do anything... I don't want to check the internet for these symptoms because it will always gives you the worst case scenario, but I also don't want to consult a doctor because I feel ridiculous... What should I do?

++saykoji89++

++my body is a strange thing++

Yay Or No Yay?

Today (It was yesterday actually, considering it's already 1:30 AM) I was being all giddy and excited. Wanna know why? 

First of all, I decided to make my own own UVERworld Fan Blog. The link is http://sekaiwokoeru.blogspot.com. Please visit there if you want to see the latest update on UVERworld. I'm thinking of inviting someone else to help me handle the blog, but we'll see how.

Secondly, D-san has been answering our prayers questions on twitter earlier today. So I have asked a few questions and he answers. Too bad he didn't reply to the owner of the question. It's something like an unmention kind of thing. Anyway, while I was being happy about him answering questions, there are some answers that kind of destroyed my hope and dreams.

We asked him about UVERworld World Tour. He says that the main problem would be cost and scheduling. So it doesn't seem like like UVERworld is having any World Tour anytime soon.

I also asked him a few other questions. I asked whether Takuya likes to run, and he answers that Takuya loves running and this summer, he ran 1000km. Not sure if I should believe, but okay. I then asked is THE SONG DVD with English subs is coming out, and he said they are working on it. Which means I have to save money.  Then, he asked for fan sites link which I was gladly to link him to UVER.org, UVERworld LJ , UVERworld Malaysian Fan Community FB page, and OVER the UVER, which all I am following. But he didn't answer one of my questions which makes me feel kind of ignored. He didn't answer my question on why won't the UVERworld members have twitter account.

Anyway, that's all for this update. I'll be updating a lot on my new UVERworld base blog, so I wonder if I will have more time here....

++saykoji89++

++I wish you have your own twitter account++

I am an asshole...

....when I don't get enough sleep. As I write this, I haven't sleep for more than 34 hours. I am cranky, childish beyond reason, and a total asshole. Yes, I admit, I am a total asshole. Yesterday, while I was at the hospital, I was so short of throwing a tantrum, and even being all sarcastic, and even calling my friend's question stupid. Usually, I would be more tact and just answer it, no matter how stupid I thought the question was. It was her first time to get her blood taken for a blood test, and here I am saying her questions are stupid. I am stupid for saying it.

Anyway, yesterday I went to Putrajaya Hospital to continue my treatment for my Bipolar. And yes, I am Bipolar and lately it's going for the worse. My mood still fluctuates between crying my heart out and laughing my ass up. It's affecting my sleep too, thus the lack of sleep, thus the crankiness. Anyway, I went to the hospital to seek help, and without seeing a doctor, I have an appointment next year. Wow. If I was in the condition when I was in UiTM, I would have just offed myself. Yeah, isn't it going to be ironic that your mental patient could make to her first appointment because while you asses sit there chit chatting and what not, your patient couldn't see anyone about her problem, and she suicides. How's that? Oh, and don't pretend that you doctors and nurses are totally innocent. I see you people gather at the nurses counter gossiping about people you hardly know about. Don't even get me started about the Doctor-Patient Confidentiality, because to put it bluntly, there's none.

Do you know why people see psychiatrist? They know there is something wrong with them. And here they are, seeking help from you people. They share with you everything, and here you are, judging these people that needs your help, gossiping about these patients at the nurses' counter. Usually, it would bother me because Malaysian are Kepochi by nature, but yesterday, it just pisses me off. I really want to throw my heavy sling bag to their faces. But if I really did that, it's either I be getting my time in the ward or the jail.

And then while we had to wait for what seems an eternity at the pharmacist for them to process the medications (my friend's not mine), I saw this ad they put on tv. It goes "Don't take fevers lightly, check for dengue fever". I find this ad very VERY funny. You see, somewhere in the middle of this year, I had a very high fever, that goes on for about 4 days. Seeing the fever did not subsides, I went to Putrajaya Hospital for treatment. I went there, with my high fever, wanting to see a doctor to see what is wrong with me. I thought with a 39 degrees Celcius fever that has been going on for 4 days was already an urgent case for me to be able to go through the Emergency and Trauma unit, seeing the hospital had no outpatient treatment center. 

But apparently, it wasn't the case. They denied me to see a doctor and told me to go to the Putrajaya Health Clinic instead saying it's just probably a normal fever. It's funny how I ended up getting warded at Subang Jaya Medical Centre, a hospital that is in a whole different district, for, wait for it, DENGUE FEVER, the next day. Wow. I am speechless towards these people. Here you are, promoting for people not to take fever lightly, but when they do come to you, you redirect them to another medical place? Usually I wouldn't be so prissy about it, but since I lack sleep, I'm going to bitch about it.

Anyway, I am going to try to sleep now, which I doubt I will. The last time I tried to sleep, I suddenly had the urge to finish up my photoshop assignment which I end up make the model's picture damn scary, and redirect me to write a blogpost. If I am still unable to sleep, I will seriously consider to ask someone to give me a concussion. And no, I'm not kidding. It's either that or I will forcefully make myself sleep permanently. 

++saykoji89++

++I feel like killing the next person with stupid updates/statuses++

Pure Bliss

...is the state I am in at the moment. Let me explain.

Before I begin, I need you to know UVERworld and dR2-san.

UVERworld is a J-Rock band that I adore from the bottom of my heart. It was introduced to me by my Laling. UVERworld is currently the only thing in the world that I haven't grow bored of. You see, I get bored by things due to my ADHD. Anyway, me not getting bored of UVERworld is a big thing.

dR2-san (-san is just a formality in Japanese language. Something like Mr. in English) is an UVERworld staff. He updates us fans about UVERworld's activity. He take snapshots of the member and teasingly put it up on twitter so the fans can go "KYAAAA". In short, he is the middleman of UVERworld and the fans.

Now that we covered the basics, 

You see, just now I saw someone tweeted to dR2-san's twitter account 

"@dR2_for_overseas I'm falling in love with intro of Awayokuba! It's beautiful! (^0^)"

So, naturally I was thinking, why not try my luck and try and tweet him. By my luck, he may retweet me too. So, as I was finding what song to tell him that I am in love with, I found myself coming to a stump... I can't choose! I mean, I love every single song by them. I can't decide which song to tell him I like most. Then, I just decided that I might as well tell him that.

And so I tweeted this

and HE DID RETWEET IT!!!! I AM SO BLOODY HAPPY THAT I COULD CRY!!!!

Okay, some of you people might think, "Oh, so? What is the big deal? He just retweeted it". Remember when I say he was the middleman between UVERworld and the fans? Well, it goes both ways. By some miracle, Takuya will see that tweet, and maybe he recognizes me? Dream on, you might say. Just let me be happy in my own fantasy.

++saykoji89++

++Takuya needs a twitter account. No, I need Takuya to have a twitter account++

My Christmas List

If by any chance, one of my readers is an eccentric rich person, with a hell lot of money, and do not know what to do with it, can you grant me these wishes? 

1. UVERworld Arena Tour ticket, 22nd December 2012, Fukuoka Kokusai Center

See more here.

2. PRS Guitar Private Stock Hollowbody II

 (#1143 1P Quilt Top & Back "kissing hummingbird inlays" -Faded Aquamarine-)

3. XYLOBAND x UVERworld Tour Goods

(Blue and Red)

4. FREEDOM CGR Ventura4 (Blue, Semihollow specification)

(The one that Nobuto used for Xmas Premium Live 2011)

5.  UVERworld hoodie

6. Denim jacket

(the one in the picture)

7.  Black Converse All Star Sneakers

8. New pillows~

9. New album

(my old one is full already)

10. Fully sponsored trip to Kusatsu, Shiga, Japan.

++saykoji89++

++I do hope someone out there is rich enough to give me all these++